Fish Bones
by KatieMarie999
Summary: A series of adorable Undyrus one-shots, both platonic and romantic. NO HATE PLEASE. All flames will be deleted. Other featured ships are Soriel and Mettalphys so far. T for a tiny bit of language, mostly, but nothing excessive.
1. How Do Skeletons Blush?

_I was told to kill myself for shipping this. Which only made me ship it more._

* * *

 **How Do Skeletons Blush?**

* * *

I've been friends with Sans and Papyrus for... forever and I still have no idea how they blush.

I didn't even know they _could_ blush. And then I once saw Toriel take Sans's hand under the dinner table and he went bright red!

What? Why haven't I _asked_ them how they blush? I'm not gonna ask them that! Why would I ask them such a dumb question?

Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because not too long ago, way after we got the surface and everything, I noticed Papyrus blushing a _lot_ around me. Like all the time! I don't know when it started. I did notice he would stare at me a lot. I practically have eyes on the back of my head! Any warrior needs keen senses like that.

What? _Do_ I have eyes on the back of my head? No! Why would you ask me that? Stop interrupting my story!

What I noticed more than anything was that, in the time since we got to the surface, Papyrus started forgetting stuff I'd taught him ages ago. Basic spaghetti making. How to surprise opponents with unpredictable attacks. He even once forgot to wash one of the dishes after one of our cooking lessons! That's when I knew something was up!

See, after all the stuff we've gone through, I've kind of grown super fond of him. He's one of my best friends. And if something was wrong, I thought I should bring it up!

So one day, after a training session where he stared at me a lot and kept looking away when I looked back at him, I finally asked what was wrong.

"N-nothing!" he exclaimed. "Why would something be wrong? I, the Great Papyrus-"

"Am never emotional about anything, I know." I interrupted.

"That's not what I was going to-"

"Come on, Papyrus, you can tell me!"

Papyrus started to squirm uncomfortably, sweat beading his forehead.

Huh? How does he sweat? Oh my god, if I don't know how skeletons blush, why the hell do you think I know how they sweat?

Anyway, that's when I realized something. The way he would keep glancing over at me even when we weren't alone together, how he'd started opening doors for me, the way he stopped protesting so much when I noogied him... what if... what if...

"Hey, Papyrus, d'you want to go out sometime?"

"What? You mean train outside?"

"No, on a date!" I grinned at him.

Papyrus began to fidget so much, I knew I was right. I was totally onto something! The Great Papyrus has the biggest crush on me! I didn't know he could have a crush on anyone, considering how full of himself he is. Actually, that made it really flattering!

"R-really?" Papyrus put his hands on either side of his face. "Wowie! A d-date? With you? I... I... I don't know what I'll wear! One should always wear the finest clothing when dating the finest person... uhh... fine... no, I didn't mean fine... I mean..."

I laughed. I don't usually think things are cute but Papyrus babbling on and on and trying to stop himself from putting his foot in his mouth was freaking adorable!

"How 'bout tomorrow night?" I interrupted him before he talked himself into a corner.

"Okay!" Papyrus seemed to have finally shaken off a lot of his nervousness. "I, the Great Papyrus, will go on a date with you!"

"Great! So where were we?"

We trained a bit more and then he went home. But I gotta say, I'm actually excited about our date! I hope he wears a suit! I think he'd look great in a suit!

What? What do you mean I'm blushing? Shut up!

* * *

 _The amount of hate this ship receives is insane. Three people attacked me just last night for shipping it. And why? There really isn't a point to it. If you don't like the ship, don't read the story or participate in the community. There you go. Problem solved._

 _I don't expect any reviews for this but if you do happen to come across it, let me know what you think!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	2. Broken

_I didn't expect this to become a series but... here we go!_

* * *

 **Broken**

* * *

A quiet day and Sans and Papyrus's house usually constituted a lot of naps on Sans's part and a lot of patience on Papyrus's. That made quiet days few and far between but very much appreciated by both brothers.

This happened to be one such day.

Papyrus was sweeping the kitchen, enjoying the solitude. An extrovert by nature, Papyrus usually sought out the company of others and involved himself in the adventures of everyday life on the surface. He still wasn't used to waking up with sunlight, _real_ sunlight, streaming in through his bedroom window. Not that he slept often, of course. Only when he was _really_ tired.

He was just on the verge of humming to himself when he heard a loud banging noise that shook the whole flat. Broom still in hand, he approached the living room cautiously. When he saw who had made the noise, he lowered the broom.

Undyne was pacing back and forth, muttering furiously under her breath. "Who does she think she is? Well I'm done. That is _it_! It's not my fault you can't-"

"Undyne?"

Undyne turned her bloodshot eye to stare at Papyrus, almost like she was surprised to find him in his own home. She deflated slightly.

"I... need somewhere to stay." she said in a voice full of controlled calm.

"Are you and Alphys okay?" Papyrus asked, his features etched with concern.

"Fine." Undyne shrugged. "Hunky dory. So can I stay here or not?"

"You're always welcome here." Papyrus said cheerfully. "But why do you need to stay here when you and Alphys have an apartment of your own?"

"Why do you need to ask such personal questions?" Undyne sneered at him. "Just leave me alone."

Without another word, she pushed past him and entered his bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Immediately, Papyrus could hear her banging around, making quite a lot of noise. He knew she wouldn't destroy his belongings, she wasn't that terrible a friend, but still he felt a bit apprehensive.

"Undyne," he called through the door, "are you sure-"

"Go away, Papyrus!" Undyne bellowed. "Your action figures are fine, I'm not gonna mess with them."

"That's not why-"

"Just go _away_!" she shrieked in an unnaturally high voice.

Papyrus wanted to argue further but the floors wouldn't clean themselves and he certainly wasn't about to provoke the wrath of the former captain of the Royal Guard. Reluctantly, he turned back to the kitchen to continue his sweeping.

"What's Undyne doing here?" Sans asked groggily, slinking in and rubbing his eye sockets.

"She wanted a place to stay." Papyrus replied. "Though I don't know why she's being so loud. She didn't want to talk about it."

Sans glanced in the direction of Papyrus's bedroom. "Maybe we should give her some space."

"There isn't much space here."

"I mean maybe we should leave." Sans clarified. "Let's go bowling."

"What is bowling?" Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets. "Is this another one of your imaginary activities?"

"Nah, bro, it's a real thing this time." Sans patted Papyrus on the back as they headed toward the front door. "You roll a ball toward some pins... I dunno, it's hard to explain. I think you'll like it."

* * *

Papyrus _did_ like bowling. It was much better than putt putt golf, which had frustrated him to no end (those stupid balls rolled everywhere _except_ where they were supposed to go). He had a good time and, even though he staunchly refused to go to Grillby's afterward, had had an eventful bus ride home during which he engaged a woman and her young son in conversation (the boy had liked his cape quite a bit and he was always happy to show off). All things considered, he was in a very good mood when he got off the bus and strolled into his house. He had spotted Undyne's Harley in the parking lot so he knew she was still around.

"Undyne, are you feeling any better?" Papyrus called when he finally settled into the apartment.

There was no response, though Papyrus could hear... _something_ going on in his room. The occasional grunt emanating from within indicated that Undyne was still in there.

"Undyne?"

No response.

Papyrus approached the door with the caution of someone approaching an enraged bull. He rapped his knuckles on the smooth wood.

 _Still_ no response.

His patience exhausted, Papyrus pushed open the door to his own bedroom, expecting it to look like the aftermath of a tornado. He stopped and stared, very surprised.

Undyne had emptied his closet but, rather than throw his clothes all over the room, she had folded them neatly and placed them on his now stripped bed. Inside the closet hung a makeshift punching bag, made entirely out of pillows, blankets, and duct tape. Undyne was brutally attacking it, grunting with each punch and kick. Were she not barefoot, Papyrus would have been alarmed at the boot prints she was bound to leave in the pillow's material.

"Undyne?" he asked again, more cautiously this time.

"WHAT?" Undyne whipped around, her eye bulging and her red locks sticking to her face from sweat.

"I just... wanted to know if you're okay." Papyrus said timidly. "You've been in here for a long-"

"I'm fine!" Undyne insisted yet again. "I just need to be alone."

Papyrus wanted to close the door and finish sweeping the kitchen but something about Undyne's expression made him pause. It wasn't the usual righteous anger he had seen when he had brought Frisk over to her house. It was... different. Papyrus couldn't quite figure out _how_ it was different but this wasn't Undyne's usual temper.

"You're not fine." Papyrus insisted. "You're upset."

"Well _duh_!" Undyne rolled her eye. "What was your first clue?"

"Are you angry at Alphys?"

"Don't talk to me about her!" Undyne spat.

"What happened?" Papyrus pressed, wanting so much to help her sort through her emotions.

"It doesn't matter!"

"Well you're upset," said Papyrus slowly, "so I think it _does_ matter."

Undyne growled almost ferociously, finally crossing her arms in front of her chest. She blinked rapidly and turned slightly away from Papyrus.

"We broke up." she said in a brittle voice. "Okay? That's what's wrong."

Papyrus froze, his hand still clutching the doorknob. "But you were so happy together."

"Yeah well now we're _not_ together." Undyne snarled through gritted teeth. "So it doesn't matter anymore."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Papyrus asked, shrugging his bony shoulders.

"No." Undyne's voice cracked. "You can't do anything."

"Are you sure? I could-"

"No, Papyrus!" Undyne yelled obstinately. "You can't understand how this feels anyway."

Papyrus felt like something heavy was pressing on his chest. He felt bad for Undyne, genuinely bad for her. He didn't usually feel the same way other people did, in fact Sans often had to tell him when he was being insensitive, but this time, he was sad because Undyne was sad. And he was even _more_ sad because he couldn't figure out what to do to make her feel better.

"I... want to." he mumbled miserably, lowering his head.

Undyne stared at him for a long time, her mouth slightly ajar. Papyrus couldn't figure out what she was thinking but she continued to blink rapidly as if trying to expel a particularly annoying piece of dust. Then suddenly, she put her hands in front of her face and turned away from him, her shoulders hunched.

"There's n-nothing you can d-do." she whimpered in a tone Papyrus had never heard her use before.

It was almost as if she was... _crying_.

Papyrus wasn't aware of deciding to cross the room but he was standing directly in front of Undyne within seconds. Cautiously, he put his hand on her shoulder and lowered his head so he could look directly at her, even though her head was bowed.

"It's... going to be okay." he said as reassuringly as he could. "I'm here for you."

To his surprise, Undyne let out a sob and threw her arms around him, clinging to him as if she would fall into the depths of her own despair if she let go. Papyrus processed this for a moment before lifting his arms and resting his hands on her back, letting her bury her face into his shoulder pad. Her body convulsed with suppressed sobs that she had held back for entirely too long.

Papyrus held her tightly, awkwardly patting the top of her head because he wasn't altogether sure what he was supposed to do here. No one had ever sobbed onto him before. And of all of his friends and acquaintances, Papyrus would have put Undyne on the end of his list of people likely to have ever cried at all. And yet here she was, crying like her heart had been ripped cleanly in two.

"There there." Papyrus said, patting her head again. "I... I think things will get better. If you let them."

Undyne hiccuped but made no indication that she'd heard him.

"And you've always got me as your friend." he continued, feeling like perhaps she just needed to hear words of comfort right now. "I wish I could take away your sadness and replace it with all the happiness in the world."

Undyne pulled away slightly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She sniffed a few times.

"Thanks, Papyrus." she said shakily. "You're a good friend."

"I'm sorry I couldn't make you... not sad." Papyrus sighed.

"I think you did a little bit." Undyne let out a small laugh as she continued to wipe her eyes. "But if you tell anyone what just happened, I'll kill you."

"Your secret is safe with me." Papyrus promised.

They stood there, awkwardly staring at each other for a moment. Finally, Undyne broke the silence.

"Do you want your cooking lesson?" she asked in a brave attempt at her usual tone.

"Um... if you're up to it."

"Of course I'm up to it, punk!" Undyne glared at him and, for a second, it was almost like she hadn't just been crying at all. "So do you want your lesson or not?"

"Yes!" Papyrus grinned.

"Well come on, we're already late." Undyne grabbed his hand and nearly dragged him out of his room as if _he_ had been the one to show up late.

Papyrus tripped over his feet as he followed Undyne from his room and into the kitchen. By the time they got there and had pulled out all the ingredients, it was like old times again, back in Undyne's house every time they'd set it on fire.

But something was different about this time. At one point, he caught Undyne's eye and saw her smiling at him. Not the kind of scary, intimidating smile he was used to seeing on her but a softer one. And though he didn't really understand how, he felt like the two of them had gotten a whole lot closer.

* * *

 _I hope you all liked that. I know Undyrus isn't a popular ship but screw it, I love these two and I really never understood Alphyne, to be honest. I now run a tumblr page devoted to this ship called undyrus-forever. Check it out if you want to see unashamed Undyrus!_

 _Don't forget to review!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	3. Blackout

_Another one? Oh yes. I will go down with this ship!_

* * *

 **Blackout**

* * *

On a Friday night, one might expect Undyne and Papyrus to be out on adventures. And usually, the two of them _were_ doing something crazy and ill advised.

But not _this_ Friday night.

It had been a long day full of shoveling the driveway, snow wrestling, and hot cocoa. Even Undyne was beginning to feel sore as the day turned to night and the snow continued to fall outside. The house was usually quite sturdy but, on occasion, a gust of wind sent a chill through each room. Even the blankets the two of them hung up over the windows didn't help much as the blizzard raged on outside. Undyne relaxed on the couch, trying to blow up as many aliens as she could on her handheld gaming system when Papyrus interrupted her pixelated massacre.

"I've made dinner!" Papyrus called, bringing out a large tureen of fettuccine alfredo. "This is a new recipe and this doesn't look as good as the picture in the cookbook but I thought-"

"I'm sure it's fine." Undyne interrupted, tossing her game aside and immediately scooping some pasta into a bowl. "I'm _starving_."

"I am glad I've made a lot. I think we'll be trapped here for-"

It was as if the universe was planning to make their lives miserable because, at that moment, a huge gust of wind blew outside and the entire house was plunged in darkness.

"Damn it." Undyne mumbled irritably, reaching for her phone so she could turn on its flashlight. "At least this happened after you'd already cooked, huh Papyrus?"

There was no response. Undyne flicked on the phone so she could see and stood up.

"I'm going to check the circuit breaker and make sure it wasn't that." she announced.

Suddenly, Papyrus's bony hand grabbed hers.

"What the... why are you-" Undyne spun around and came face to face with Papyrus, whose eye sockets were bulging.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah." Papyrus said shakily, giving her a very false smile and a thumbs up.

Undyne paused, glancing down at Papyrus's slightly trembling hand before speaking.

"You _sure_ you're okay?"

"Nyeh." Papyrus attempted to laugh but stopped short. "T-top of the world."

"It's all right if you're not." Undyne turned to fully face her boyfriend, an understanding smile on her lips. "It's pretty dark."

"I, the G-great Papyrus, am n-not afraid of anything." Papyrus shivered. "Except… m-maybe the Great P-Papyrus might be a little n-nervous sometimes."

"Aww, Papyrus!" Undyne smiled understandingly. "I didn't know you were scared of the dark."

"M-me? Scared?" Papyrus tried to smile but it came across as a grimace.

"Everyone is scared of something." Undyne put her phone down so the small beam of light shone on the ceiling. "But there's something we can do about it."

Before Papyrus could ask what it was, Undyne pulled him to the couch and sat him down. As soon as they were seated next to each other, she put her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder. Papyrus registered this for a second before he cuddled up to her, his hands still trembling a little.

"There. Now I can help you feel better and we can stay warm." Undyne whispered.

"You don't think I'm weak for being scared, do you?" Papyrus asked timidly.

"Nah. I can be strong enough for us both anyway." Undyne replied, snuggling into him some more. "Plus, what's better than cuddles on a cold night like this?"

It didn't take long for Papyrus to stop trembling. The two of them curled up, entwining themselves even more in each other as they waited out the blizzard, the pasta lying forgotten on the coffee table. Papyrus listened to the steady beating of Undyne's heart and felt a deep sense of calm. Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard and the greatest fighter he had ever known, would be able to protect him from harm in ways no one else could.

When the lights finally flickered on again, neither Undyne nor Papyrus much felt like moving. In fact, they would have been happy cuddling there forever.

* * *

 _The winner of the "best fan ever" award (an award I wasn't aware I could give out but hey, why not?) goes to NFrana101, who apparently knows nothing about Undertale but read this anyway because she likes my work. Check out Undertale, NFrana101, I have told you all how good it is in my Growing Up Haddock author notes and have referenced it multiple times (although sadly, Undyrus is not officially canon). And, for the record, those stories WILL continue as well, we have plans to get a chapter up next week._

 _I'm thinking of renaming this series (it wasn't originally a series, I thought it would be just the one story at the beginning). How's "Fishbones" as a title? Too generic?_

 _Don't forget to review!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	4. The 4th Story

_This is the first story I've written that I just couldn't name. It didn't feel like it was supposed to have one. But have some angsty Undyrus._

* * *

It was my fault.

The realization hit me so hard, I collapsed onto the floor of my house the moment the doors closed. Putting my head in my hands, I tried to banish the thought from my mind but it only became stronger the more I fought it.

I was the one who told him to capture a human.

I was the one who gave him false hope about joining the Royal Guard.

I was the one who encouraged him, who told him how tough he was even though he wouldn't even harm a fly.

Papyrus was dead because of me.

It felt like my heart had stopped pounding. Maybe I had dropped dead in that room. But if I had, I must have gone straight to hell because I'd never felt worse about anything. The guilt felt like it was consuming my soul and all the memories of our friendship, our stupid little cooking accidents and snow wrestling in Snowdin and dragging him to Grillby's even though he hated the place… I would give anything to do it again. To not have to feel this anymore. To not feel anything anymore.

I didn't actually think Papyrus would want to join the Royal Guard this much. I didn't think he would take my orders so seriously, not after I'd seen those ludicrous puzzles all over the place. I underestimated him and now my worst fears had come true. The very thing I'd tried to protect him from had been his downfall.

I tried to shift the blame. The human had killed him. But I couldn't even let that rage consume me anymore. I felt my gills, still functioning because the child had mercy on me. So if they had saved my life, why hadn't they let Papyrus live? Did he annoy them into it? Did the child only let me live to force me to endure this pain? If that was the case, humans were more sadistic than I imagined.

Briefly, I thought about trying to find Sans. Maybe he could understand how it felt. But no one had seen him and I didn't know where to begin to go looking for him. The cell phone in my pocket suddenly felt like a huge weight and I took it out. The last text I'd gotten from Papyrus was still on the screen when I turned it on.

"THE HUMAN WILL SUCCUMB TO MY TRAPS! I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I CAPTURE THEM! NYEH HEH HEH!"

He couldn't even type in lowercase letters. I never did ask him why. Now I wished I could. Just to hear him come up with some silly excuse or reasoning would be enough to bring me out of this black hole of anguish inside.

Without really knowing why, I pressed the call button. The phone rang once, twice… three times. He would be picking it up right now if it weren't for me. Just like always.

"YOU HAVE REACHED THE GREAT PAPYRUS, FUTURE MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD AND UNPARALLELED SPAGETTORE! IF YOU ARE A HUMAN, PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR LOCATION SO THAT I MAY CAPTURE YOU. IF YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN, LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE TONE. NYEH HEH HEH!"

I felt a small smile on my lips at the sound of his voice, so silly and loud. So innocently naïve. As if a human would actually leave a message telling him where to find them. The phone beeped and I paused for a moment. I could hang up, call him again, and listen to that message until I went crazy pretending he was still with me. Instead, I found my voice.

"Papyrus, I…" my throat felt like it was closing but I forced my voice through. "I… I shouldn't have told you to capture the human." My eyes burned with tears but I kept talking. "The truth is, I wasn't going to let you join the Royal Guard because I didn't think you could handle it. I thought you'd get torn to smiling shreds. And I was right." I wiped my eye. I _hate_ crying. "But I was wrong too. You're a lot braver than I thought. You stepped between the human and the rest of the Underground and didn't back down. I never thought you would do that. I never thought you wanted this so badly. I should have told you. I should have told you ages ago." I gritted my teeth and took several deep breaths. "I'm sorry. I know if you could hear this, you'd forgive me right away. But that doesn't mean I didn't mess up. My mistake got you killed. I'm so sorry, Papyrus. I'm… I'm…"

The phone slipped out of my hand. I didn't even know if it hung up. Perhaps it didn't. Perhaps Papyrus could hear my desperate attempts to swallow up the emotions raging inside of me. I clutched at my arms until my fingernails cut through my skin. I didn't want to face this. I didn't want to live the rest of my life knowing that I'd gotten my best friend murdered.

What would Papyrus do now? How would he handle this?

Well… he sure as hell wouldn't give up.

I was going to make sure he didn't die in vain. I was going to protect the Underground from the humans or die trying. Even if that meant I had to take over completely. No one else was going to die.

I stood up and as I did so, I realized with a horrible stab of pain that Papyrus's cooking lesson should have started five minutes ago. He would never have been late for that.

The human had saved my life and I was going to make sure that hadn't gone to waste. I was going to make the humans pay for what happened to Papyrus. I was going to tear them to pieces with my bare hands. If this one got out of the Underground, they would be the last to see the light of day again.

I knew this wasn't what Papyrus would want. But what he had wanted simply wasn't possible. And no one else was ever going to make that mistake again.

* * *

 _Man, I cannot stop writing these, can I?_

 _~KateMarie999_


	5. The Beret

_Someone on tumblr decided to be a troll so I wrote this in response to their ask. It was fun!_

* * *

 **The Beret**

* * *

It didn't take long for Papyrus to figure out just how many selections there were in terms of human clothing. While other monsters had a slightly harder time finding clothes that fit them, Papyrus was having a field day.

And then came the day he decided to look into… international fashions.

"It's sophisticated!" he said cheerily, returning home donning a beret atop his bald head. "All the French are wearing them!"

Sans turned around in his chair and had to stifle a laugh. Had Papyrus decided to put on a fake mustache to complete the look, he wouldn't have been able to hold back. Toriel smiled, looking every bit as amused but easily able to hide it.

"You are very handsome in that beret, Papyrus." Toriel said with a grin. "However, I do not believe all French people wear them."

"But now that I see my image in the mirror," Papyrus mused, staring into the hallway mirror, "I realize that this, _this_ is the piece I was looking for to complete this battle body. Nothing is more intimidating or, indeed, more attractive than a man in a beret."

"I dunno, Papyrus." Undyne said, walking through the doorway with a hand on her hip. "I feel like it would work better on someone else."

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets at her. "Who?"

Undyne rushed forward and snatched the hat off his head. "Me!"

"No!" Papyrus yelped, nearly tripping over himself in his haste to reach Undyne. "Give me back my hat!"

"NOPE!" Undyne shouted back, running around the couch upon which Toriel was seated.

"I want my hat back!"

"Make me give it back!"

"UNDYNE, GIVE ME MY HAT!"

"NOPE!"

"SANS, HELP ME OUT HERE!"

"Sure thing, bro. " said Sans, getting out his phone and taking a picture. "Now that's going on instagram."

"GAH, SANS! DO NOT UPLOAD MY HUMILIATION TO THE INTERNET!"

Undyne managed to scramble over to the door and kick it open, running into the driveway and promptly slipping on the ice. She fell on her rear, skidding a few feet as she tried to get back up but Papyrus was too quick for her.

"HAH!" he shouted triumphantly as he managed to pin her down. "I have caught you, Undyne! You are at my mercy! Now give me my h-"

Undyne leaned up and kissed him right on the mouth. She could feel Papyrus's face heat up considerably so that, when she leaned back again, she could see it nearly glowing red.

 _Click!_

"Sans, if y-you just…"

"Don't worry, bro. This one's not going on instagram."

Undyne laughed as Papyrus gingerly got off of her to face his brother. "It better not."

"Nah, this one's for Facebook!"

"S-SANS, DON'T!" Papyrus's face was now as red as his brother's favorite condiment. "Give me the phone."

"Hey," Undyne said casually, tapping him on the shoulder. Papyrus turned around and she held up his beret. "I thought you wanted this back."

"Oh… right." Papyrus cleared his throat awkwardly as he took back his hat. "And d-don't… uhh, don't…"

Apparently deciding the whole chain of events had been too embarrassing to handle, Papyrus put a hand over his bright red face and marched away.

Undyne waited until he was out of sight before grabbing the front of Sans's shirt and lifting him off the ground.

"What… what are you-"

"Delete. That. Picture." Undyne growled in his face.

"Hey, hey, I was just messing with Papyrus, you don't have to threaten me." Sans looked a bit nervous as she slowly lowered him to the ground again.

Out of the corner of her eye, Undyne could see Toriel watching the fiasco from inside, smiling in a knowing fashion at them as Sans sauntered back over rather like a puppy who had just been caught misbehaving.

Meanwhile, Undyne eyed Papyrus's bedroom window and was amused to see his curtains flapping, almost like he had been watching everything and haphazardly shut his curtains to pretend he wasn't.

She wasn't going to lie to herself: she really did have a crush on the goofiest guy in the world. And by the way he had reacted to her today, it was a safe bet that the crush certainly wasn't one sided.

* * *

 _I'm enjoying writing these. I've decided to discontinue my other Undertale fics but this ship definitely needs more love so more will come. Eventually. I do have ideas._

 _Growing Up Haddock fans can expect an update next week sometime. Thanks for bearing with us._

 _Don't forget to review!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	6. The Most Metal Sentry Station Ever

_I'm back! So incredibly shocking, I know! But I had to give you another Fish Bones fix!_

 _Also, I had someone leave a guest review that basically insulted my writing style and then called this story "homophobic propaganda." I took the review down but I'd rather not deal with that kind of garbage on my page. If anyone is harassed for liking this little series, please let me know and I will block the person doing the harassing (as should you)._

 _Onto the story!_

* * *

 **The Most Metal Sentry Station Ever**

* * *

"I'm _bored_!"

Undyne's voice drifted through the open window as Papyrus leaned over his petunias. The tall skeleton wiped sweat off his forehead before turning toward his fiancée, who was throwing spears out the window at various moving objects. The weather was far too hot to exercise outside, all their friends were out on their own adventures, and Undyne was clearly feeling the monotony of a sunny Saturday with nothing to do.

"Perhaps you could pick up around the house." Papyrus suggested for what felt like the thousandth time.

Undyne made a face. "I'm not _that_ bored."

"Then why don't you help me with my gardening?"

"Forget it. I'll… watch TV or something." Undyne rolled her eyes and tossed a last spear out the window, startling a squirrel into scurrying up a nearby tree.

Papyrus turned back to his work, a small smile on his face. Boring days like this weren't fun but he never minded much. With Undyne around, things were never dull for long.

He was just about finished with his gardening when he felt several hard objects land around him, hitting his body as they fell. He looked up at Undyne, who was holding a now empty drawer that she'd clearly taken from the kitchen cabinet.

"I have an idea." She said, her yellow eye lighting up with delight.

"Oh boy…" Papyrus said under his breath, though his curiosity was piqued.

He looked around at what Undyne had dumped on his head. The ground was littered with dozens of bones, some of which had the singed remainders of ribbons and wrapping paper. Papyrus recognized them as the gifts he had given Undyne for their training sessions. He was slightly touched that she had kept them all.

Undyne emerged from the front door and bolted toward her fiancé. "Okay, hear me out," she said in a voice Papyrus was fairly sure the neighbors would hear, "let's build something."

"With these bones?" Papyrus asked, collecting them so that they wouldn't be scattered helter skelter on the ground. "What are you suggesting?"

"I dunno, we'll find out!" Undyne said cheerfully as she joined him in collecting the bones on the ground.

It was certainly an eventful afternoon.

After many incidents, including Papyrus somehow nailing his Garden Boy shirt to the wall, Undyne managing to cause the roof to cave in four times, and one of them somehow setting a kind of magical fire along the outer wall, their creation was finally complete. It appeared to be an abnormally tall sentry station made entirely out of bones, some of which were still smoking from the fire incident.

"It's missing something." Said Undyne, staring at the station with her eye narrowed.

"I think it looks great!" Papyrus walked around their building with a big grin on his face. "Maybe Sans and I should have gone into building instead of guarding when we were Underground!"

Suddenly and without warning, spears came flying in all directions. Papyrus, despite being too far from the building to be in any real danger, leaped out of the way in surprise.

"Undyne! What are you doing?" he yelped.

"There we go." Said Undyne, smiling widely so her crooked teeth were all visible.

Papyrus stood next to his fiancée to look at their masterpiece. In addition to bones, spears had been added as decoration and additional support.

"Wowie, Undyne, you sure know how to make it flashy!" Papyrus gushed. "It's glorious!"

"It has got to be the most metal sentry station ever." Undyne agreed, looking rather proud of herself.

"Too true." Papyrus agreed. "Let's go in!"

"Thought you'd never ask." Undyne beamed. "But I've got an idea. You go in, I'll be back in a sec."

Papyrus opened the door and entered the station. The spears gave the whole place an eerie teal glow but they had an additional benefit of keeping the whole place cool (though Papyrus had no idea _how_ ). He felt proud of his creation with Undyne. The two of them had built igloos and snowmen and, once, a popsicle stick village that Undyne had gleefully ignited in the back yard but this… _this_ was their magnum opus. Other than their upcoming marriage, this had to be what their friendship and relationship had been building up to this whole time.

Undyne returned, waddling slightly as she carried a huge bucket filled to the brim with water balloons.

"What are you doing, Undyne?" Papyrus asked, his eyes bugging as she pushed the bucket into the station and closed the door behind her. "We can't just throw those at passersby."

"I'm not going to throw them at passersby, just people who try to mess up our masterpiece." Said Undyne, looking very mischievous. "Although I might have sent a few texts while I was getting the water balloons."

"What kinds of texts?" Papyrus narrowed his eyes.

There was a faint popping noise the moment he had stopped speaking.

"All right you two, what's up?" came a voice from a short distance away.

"Undyne, I can't attack Sans!" Papyrus whispered hurriedly, sweating slightly. "He's my _brother_."

"Sure but would _he_ pass up an opportunity like this?" Undyne tossed a bright pink water balloon just low enough that it wouldn't be seen through the half-door and caught it.

Papyrus thought about this for a moment before grabbing a blue balloon and leaping to his feet.

"NYEEEHH!" he cried, throwing the balloon at Sans, who only had a split second to put his hands over his face.

"NGAAHHH!" Undyne screeched, pelting him with the pink balloon.

Sans burst out laughing. "Okay, I can admit defeat!" he chortled. "Very clever, Undyne. And nice sentry station. Man, we should have made that into our own business."

"You'd have slacked off regardless." Papyrus said before hurling a yellow water balloon at Sans, missing him by inches.

"Heh heh, you know me too well." Sans shrugged. "Is that why you texted me?"

"Yep!" Undyne said as she managed to hit Sans on the top of the head with a green balloon.

Sans laughed again as the water drenched his face. "Can I join you?"

"Nope!" Undyne threw a purple balloon and almost hit a nearby cat.

"So you interrupted me in the middle of my day just to attack me?"

"Yep!"

Sans eyed his brother and future sister-in-law for a moment before grinning widely. "Well played, you two. Well played."

And with a faint _pop_ , Sans was gone.

"That was fun!" Papyrus said tossing a water balloon a little too high and hitting himself in the face.

Undyne laughed as Papyrus wiped himself off with his cape. Suddenly, she stopped laughing, her eye bugging in excitement.

"Papyrus! Oh my god, I have the _best_ idea!" she nearly whispered in her excitement, grabbing his arm and shaking it. "Let's get married here!"

"Our front lawn?"

"No, we should have a… like, a gazebo wedding in this station! Wouldn't that be the _coolest freaking wedding location ever_?"

"You always come up with the best ideas!" Papyrus exclaimed excitedly. "That sounds amazing! Maybe we should cancel the church though."

"Sure thing. You do that, I'll see if we can book a park or something." Undyne nearly got up to do this immediately when she paused. She sat down again. "We'll do that _after_ we soak all our friends."

"Wowie, Undyne, I cannot wait to marry you!" Papyrus sighed, looking at his fiancée with wide eyes.

Undyne leaned forward and kissed his teeth. "I'm excited too, Pap."

"Wh-what's going on here?" a timid, feminine voice came from nearby.

Undyne and Papyrus looked at each other, their eyes alight with excitement, and grabbed a water balloon from the bucket. Their boring afternoon had turned into quite an exciting evening.

* * *

 _I freaking love these two._

 _Be sure to follow me on tumblr as undyrus-forever. I'd like to credit Sarah Jane for the idea of the "metal sentry station" and them having their wedding there._

 _And again, please do not send hate. I'm just going to delete it and ship this harder! UNDYRUS FOREVER!_

 _Don't forget to review!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	7. How Do I Love Thee

_This is a goofy idea I came up with when I was in the card section at CVS. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **How Do I Love Thee**

* * *

MY DEAREST UNDYNE,

THIS PAST YEAR WITH YOU HAS BEEN TRULY MAGICAL. AND I MEAN IN THE AMAZING, ROMANTIC WAY, NOT THE TURNING PEOPLE'S HEARTS GREEN WAY. THOUGH THAT IS MAGICAL AS WELL. HAVING YOU AS MY GIRLFRIEND HAS BRIGHTENED MY LIFE EVERY SINGLE DAY. I LOVE WAKING UP NEXT TO YOU AND MAKING YOU COFFEE. EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE IN THE MORNING AND YELL AT ME FOR STARING AT YOU, I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ANYWAY.

UNDYNE, I ONCE DREAMED OF POPULARITY AND PRESTIGE. I DREAMED OF BEING BATHED IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING. I DREAMED OF PEOPLE ASKING TO BE MY FRIEND. BUT OVER THE LAST YEAR, I HAVE LEARNED THAT ALL I REALLY NEEDED WAS THE SWEET EMBRACE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. OF THE ONE WHO SET EVERY STANDARD I COULD EVER HOPE TO SET.

MY DEAR UNDYNE, I AM PROUD TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND AND LOOK FORWARD TO MANY MORE ANNIVERSARIES WITH YOU. YOU BRIGHTEN EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.

WITH LOTS OF LOVE (AND HOPEFULLY KISSES LATER),

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _Roses are red_**  
 ** _Violets are blue_**  
 ** _I suck at rhyming_**  
 ** _Spaghetti_**

 ** _-Undyne_**

 ** _P.S. I love you._**

* * *

DEAR UNDYNE,

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE.

ALSO, I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU PUT YOUR DISHES IN THE SINK WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THEM. AND MAYBE RINSE THEM OFF A LITTLE.

LOVE YOU!

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _Since you asked nicely… ugh, fine._**

 ** _Love you too,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

* * *

 _ **My dear, lovely, sweet, amazing boyfriend Papyrus,**_

 ** _Please remember that I love you very, very much. Passionately, Devotedly. Remember it as you go outside and know that what I accidentally did to the car is what I'll do to anyone who hurts you._**

 ** _Again, I love you so VERY much,_**

 ** _Your devoted girlfriend,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

DEAR UNDYNE,

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE IMPRESSED OR FURIOUS THAT YOU MANAGED TO PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE CAR.

PUT ME DOWN FOR FURIOUSLY IMPRESED.

I STILL LOVE YOU THOUGH.

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

* * *

DEAR UNDYNE,

AS YOU EAT THIS LUNCH, REMEMBER THAT I, YOUR AMAZING BOYFRIEND, MADE IT OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU. EACH DELICIOUS BITE OF REHEATED SPAGHETTI REPRESENTS MY UTTER PASSION FOR YOU. TRULY I AM THE LUCKIEST SKELETON IN THE WORLD TO HAVE THE HONOR TO PACK YOU DELICIOUS LUNCHES.

ALSO THOSE COOKIES ARE FOR YOUR COWORKERS. I THOUGHT THEY WOULD HELP YOU MAKE FRIENDS.

YOUR LOVING BOYFRIEND,

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _Your passion for me needs meatballs next time but thanks for the spaghetti. It was yummy._**

 ** _Also I ate all the cookies. Who needs friends when you have an amazing boyfriend and all the sugar you could eat during the workday?_**

 ** _Love you,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

DEAR UNDYNE,

HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO EAT 50 COOKIES IN A SINGLE DAY?

YOUR LOVING BOYFRIEND,

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus._**

 ** _Determination._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

 ** _P.S. I think my realistic limit is about 33, pack that many tomorrow._**

DEAR UNDYNE,

NO.

LOVE,

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

* * *

 _ **Dear Papyrus,**_

 _ **I can't believe it's your birthday. You're so old. Not as old as me but still old. We were still in the Underground when I was the age you are now. So that year kinda sucked. Mainly because I didn't know you yet. I wish I'd known you then. I'm really jealous because you got to spend your whole life with yourself and now with me.**_

 _ **You make me a better person, Papyrus. Less trigger happy. I mean I not completely docile, I'm not Alphys, but like, I'm actually way more patient with people because of you. And all that other stuff. You're just such a great guy.**_

 _ **I'm not very good at this so can I just say that I love you so much and I'm really glad you were born?**_

 _ **Your girlfriend,**_

 _ **Undyne**_

 _ **P.S. I knew you were gonna cry. The only reason you can read this is because I wrote it in waterproof ink.**_

DEAR UNDYNE,

I KNOW YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE TO WRITE YOU A THANK YOU NOTE BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM ALWAYS COURTEOUS AND POLITE WHEN I RECEIVE A GIFT! SO YOU ARE GETTING ONE ANYWAY. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR THE NICE THINGS YOU WROTE IN YOUR CARD. I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL YOU SAID.

THANK YOU ALSO FOR ALL THE PRESENTS YOU GOT ME. I LOVE THEM ALL BUT THE GREATEST ONE WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, YOUR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE.

I LOVE YOU,

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

P.S. PLEASE NEVER SHOW THIS CARD TO SANS.

* * *

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _Thanks for taking out the trash. You're the best boyfriend ever._**

 ** _Love you,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

DEAR UNDYNE,

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NOTICED THAT I TOOK THE TRASH OUT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT TAKING IT FOR GRANTED! YOU ARE THE BEST ROOM MATE I'VE EVER HAD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, UNDYNE, YOU ARE AMAZING! FOR YOU, I WILL TAKE OUT THE TRASH EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!

YOUR DEVOTED BOYFRIEND,

THE GREAT PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _You just took out the trash, you didn't cure cancer. Please stop singing and jumping around the house._**

 ** _Still love you though,_**

 ** _Undyne_**

* * *

MY DEAREST UNDYNE,

I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME LATELY. I WOULD NOT DREAM OF TRYING TO MINIMIZE YOUR PAIN THROUGH EMPTY WORDS. I WISH THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND TAKE AWAY EVERY BIT OF HURT THAT YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW. I WISH I COULD SHOULDER ALL THE PAIN INSTEAD OF YOU BECAUSE SEEING YOU UPSET BEING ABLE TO DO NOTHING IS TORTURE TO ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW GERSON AS WELL AS YOU DID BUT I KNOW YOU TWO WERE FRIENDS AND THAT HE HAD BEEN THERE FOR YOU ALL YOUR LIFE. I KNOW THAT THESE NEXT FEW WEEKS AND YEARS WILL BE A HUGE, PAINFUL ADJUSTMENT FOR YOU.

BUT PLEASE, UNDYNE, REMEMBER THAT I AM HERE FOR YOU. THESE SHOULDER PADS SERVE A DUAL PURPOSE OF COOL FASHION ACCESSORY AND A WAY OF MAKING MY SHOULDERS A NICE SOFT PLACE TO CRY. AND I WILL BE HERE IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK OR LET MY SHOULDER PADS SOAK UP YOUR TEARS.

AT TIMES LIKE THESE, I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO SAY. BUT UNDYNE, I LOVE YOU. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. AND I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON. SO PLEASE, LET ME HELP YOU SHOULDER SOME OF THIS PAIN SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO ENDURE IT ALONE.

ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU,

PAPYRUS

 ** _Dear Papyrus,_**

 ** _I love you._**

 ** _Undyne_**

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them!_

 _~KateMarie999_


	8. Unsent

_I hope you like this; it was an angstfic for Undyrus week on tumblr. Prepare for more sadness. Lighthearted stories will come soon enough._

* * *

 **Unsent**

* * *

There was something eerie about coming back here now.

Empress Undyne didn't know what it was. She had no idea why her stomach clenched the moment she so much as touched the doorknob. But she wasn't going to let her own uneasy feelings stop her.

The moment she opened the door, she felt another wave of pain. Everything was just as she remembered it. Waiting for a goofy skeleton who would never come home again. She could see why Sans didn't want to go in. It was like the room didn't know…

Undyne shook her head. She needed to accept what had happened.

It was like the room didn't know that Papyrus was dead.

Undyne gritted her teeth. Even alone, she wouldn't let herself show how much this bothered her. Perhaps she might have if Alphys or Asgore were here but Asgore was dead and, after Mettaton was destroyed, Alphys was nowhere to be found. But the people needed her. They needed a leader who didn't shatter like glass over all the losses they had sustained. She had to be the one person they could rally around, who they could depend on.

Even so, she felt she needed to do this for her best friend. She _needed_ to pack up his belongings so that Sans could leave for the Ruins without worrying about his brother's things being pilfered. Sure, they would sit in the queen's spare room never to be touched but… well, who knew what Papyrus would want? He had never expected to die so young.

She took a deep breath and sauntered over to the little figurines atop his table. Battle scenarios, they had called it. Really, they had just built little worlds with the blocks in Papyrus's closet and then she'd pretended to be a giant monster destroying the city. It had been _so_ much fun and the big dork had still thought that was a training exercise. He never did figure out that it was all a distraction.

And now he never would.

 _Pull it together, Undyne._

Shaking her head to clear it, she opened a box and, in one movement, managed to push all the figurines into it. Maybe another human child would enjoy them before she gutted them without remorse. She would not hold back this time. No more games. She'd wait in the dark and, when they least expected it, she would run them through with her spear. No hesitation.

She hated thinking about all the things she would have done. She would have told Papyrus that she could handle any human that showed up. She would have kept him out of harm's way. She would have told Alphys how much she had grown to care about her so maybe…

Undyne knew the truth in the back of her mind. Alphys hadn't just gone away on a spontaneous vacation. Bratty and Catty had told her they had seen her crying in the garbage dump not long before she had gone missing. Undyne wasn't stupid. She knew what had happened.

Another person she'd failed to protect. Another loved one dead because of the human. Life wasn't going to be the same without the three people she loved most in this cursed mountain. Hell, life probably wasn't going to be worth living at all. But that wouldn't stop her from doing right by her people.

She turned her single eye to the flag on the wall. She'd found that. She'd run across Waterfall and through Snowdin to give it to him because she knew how much he would appreciate it. She'd always felt a surge of pride when she saw it on his wall. Like she had contributed something good to this poor skeleton's life. Like she had shown him that she thought of him outside of training. Because she did. She thought about him all the time, even when he was alive. And now that he was gone, she couldn't _stop_ thinking about him.

She would keep the flag. Hang it in her bedroom maybe.

As she removed the thumbtacks holding it up, something slid out from behind it. She carefully removed and folded the flag before reaching down and picking it up.

A light blue envelope. Her name and address in Papyrus's messy scrawl. He was going to send a letter… to _her_?

Instantly, she felt conflicted. If she opened it up and read the letter, that would be it. Nothing new from Papyrus anymore. _Ever_.

But if she didn't…

"Damn it." Undyne muttered. "You drive me crazy."

She stared at the words he had written, dearly wishing she could turn around and ask him about it. Why he had clearly intended to _mail_ this to her instead of giving it to her during one of their daily "training sessions." He'd given her thank you notes for everything she had given him, from a cup of hot chocolate to, well, the flag she'd just taken off the wall. But he hadn't mailed them. What could possibly be written that was so important?

She _had_ to know.

She felt awful ripping open the envelope. He had sealed it too tightly for her to open it without destroying it. Maybe he'd done that on purpose because he knew how much she liked to rip things. She certainly loved opening presents for that reason. There was just something intriguing about the sound it made. She could never explain it.

The letter within had more of Papyrus's messy handwriting. Undyne took a moment to marvel at how someone so neat could have handwriting so difficult to read even on the best of days. But something was different here. He seemed to have taken his time. Her hands shaking slightly, she read the words on the page, the last words Papyrus would ever give her.

 _DEAR UNDYNE,_

 _IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THAT MEANS I'VE FINALLY GOTTEN UP THE COURAGE TO MAIL THIS. IT'S PROBABLY BEEN SITTING IN MY ROOM FOR WEEKS NOW. MAYBE EVEN MONTHS. BUT I COULD NOT GO ON WITHOUT WRITING OUT MY FEELINGS. I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE, EVEN IF IT WAS JUST A PIECE OF PAPER. AND, NOW, YOU._

 _I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS INTO WORDS, WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE I LOVE TALKING AND PUTTING THINGS INTO WORDS. BUT NOT THIS. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I FEEL TINGLY INSIDE WHENEVER I'M WITH YOU OR THINKING ABOUT YOU OR THINKING ABOUT THINKING ABOUT YOU. AND… I FEEL WARM TOO. LIKE… IN MY CHEST WHERE MY HEART WOULD BE IF I HAD ONE._

 _I'VE NEVER WRITTEN A LETTER LIKE THIS BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD INCLUDE BEAUTIFUL POETRY BUT I'M AFRAID THAT MY RHYMING SKILLS ARE SUB PAR. OR MAYBE I SHOULD MAIL THIS WITH A BOUQUET OF ROSES, SINCE YOU DON'T LIKE ECHO FLOWERS. BUT YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO LIKES FLOWERS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU OR TO WRITE YOU. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE THIS AT ALL SO I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT SOUND EXTRA PRETTY. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN._

 _UNDYNE, I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. I DON'T KNOW IF HOW I FEEL IS REAL YET. I THINK THAT IT IS. ALL I KNOW IS THAT WHEN I SEE YOU UPSET, I WANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. AND I DON'T JUST WAIT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE IT'S TRAINING TIME AND YOU'RE LATE. I WAIT BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOU AND I CAN'T WAIT SO SOMETIMES I'M THERE THREE OR FOUR HOURS EARLY. AND I JUST LIKE YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF YOU._

 _BEFORE WE MET, I USED TO SIT IN THE WISHING ROOM AND WISH THAT I COULD JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD. NOW I SIT THERE AND WISH YOU FELT THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME. I THINK THAT I COULD FORGO THE CHANCE TO BE A PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD IF I WAS WITH YOU, BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER WANT TO GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR DUTIES OR BE A DISTRACTION WHILE YOU'RE WORKING._

 _THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU ISN'T JUST THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT MOST PEOPLE. IT'S NOT HOW I IMAGINED FEELING ABOUT MY FRIENDS. I DON'T THINK PLATONIC FRIENDS GET THIS EXCITED ABOUT SEEING EACH OTHER. IT'S KIND OF SCARY TO FEEL THIS WAY. I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND THAT, WHEN YOU READ THIS, YOU'LL RUN TO ME AND CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS AND MAYBE WE CAN BE TOGETHER._

 _BUT EVEN IF WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER, EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME, I WOULD NEVER WANT TO HURT YOU OR MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. THAT'S WHY I'M SO SCARED TO SEND THIS. THE LAST THING I WOULD EVER WANT TO DO IS MESS UP WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE._

 _SO I DON'T THINK I WILL SEND THIS, UNDYNE. I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU'RE NOT THE ONE READING IT. I AM. WELL I HOPE I REMEMBER WHY I DIDN'T SEND IT THEN._

 _STILL, UNDYNE, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT READING THIS, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY NO MATTER WHO YOU'RE WITH. YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU._

 _PAPYRUS_

Undyne felt like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She found herself sliding down the wall to sit on Papyrus's floor, reading and rereading his words.

He had _loved_ her. The words seemed crazy even to think. He had never said a word. Had never indicated that he had ever felt so strongly about her.

Except...

Little moments jumped out at her. Just last week, hadn't Sans told her that Papyrus constantly talked about her at home? And he wasn't the only one. When she went to Snowdin, the people acted like they knew her already. She had heard "Papyrus talks about you all the time!" or "Oh, _you're_ Undyne? Papyrus has told me _all_ about you!" more times than she could count. And then there were the thank you notes Papyrus gave her; just about every training session he came up with some new way to thank her for the most mundane things. Her favorite note had been the one he'd written her for passing him the sugar for his tea. Such a little action and yet he'd noticed. And all those gifts he got her too...

Papyrus really _did_ love her.

She remembered all the times she caught him looking at her and the giant, cheesy grin he would give her before looking away. How could she have missed this? How could she have not known that her best friend felt like this?

 _Alphys._

The thought of her own crush made Papyrus's writing blur. For a moment, she was concerned but then she realized that, for the first time in a long time, her eye had filled with tears.

She had been so focused on Alphys that she hadn't seen the signs of Papyrus's affection. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was that _both_ of them were gone.

She never told Alphys her feelings and now she never could. Papyrus had never told her _his_ feelings and now he never would. And here she was, days after losing them both, only now realizing what would have happened if she had just been open. If she had just paid attention to Papyrus. If she had just known he felt that way, she could have talked to him. She could have stopped worrying about whether Alphys felt the same way and tried things out with Papyrus.

And now he was gone. Forever.

She would never hear that goofy laugh again. She would never see him sitting outside of her house, never cook with him or hang out with him in Snowdin again. Never snow wrestle again. Never fry a popsicle for no reason other than curiosity again. Never watch his face light up as he explained his puzzles.

Never have the chance to find out if she returned his affections.

It was too late now.

Her hand shook as her grip on Papyrus's final words tightened. But she could not stop the sob from escaping. She felt it burst from her as all the emotions she'd had in the last few days poured out of her. Alphys was gone. Asgore was gone. The Underground was in chaos and hopelessness had spread no matter what she'd done. She couldn't go a day without seeing the grieving families of the fallen.

And Papyrus was gone. And he had died never knowing if she could love him back. Maybe he had died never knowing how much she cared at all.

Undyne felt like a child as she wept into her lap. A child desperate for the tender embrace of a loved one. The truth was, she felt as hopeless as any of them. She ached as much as everyone did. They looked to her for strength and there was no one she could run to now, no Asgore to hug her and tell her it was all going to be okay. Because it _wasn't_ going to be okay anymore. Nothing was _ever_ going to be okay anymore.

Why had the human spared her? Why hadn't they killed her too? They had mercilessly killed Papyrus and Mettaton and Asgore and so many innocent people... why _not_ her?

For the first time in her life, Undyne found herself wishing that she had lost the battle. That she had died a hero's death instead of being a false hero for the people of the Underground. She couldn't do it anymore. Not without her friends. Not without the hope of ever escaping this prison. She loved her people so much, she dearly wished someone better could take over so they wouldn't eventually figure out that she was every bit as broken as them. But someone like that wasn't coming. There was no one to fill that void except her and she loved monsterkind too much to shirk her responsibility.

To think that things could have been _so_ different if she had been there for Alphys. If she had made Papyrus feel safe about opening up. She felt tortured by the idea of what could have been.

Undyne cried until her chest ached and fatigue took over. She stood up and walked over to Papyrus's bed, falling onto it and wrinkling the covers. The last thought she had before sleep overtook her was a genuine wish that she could see her friends again in her dreams.

That was the only way she would ever see them again.


	9. Amusement Park

_The prompt was double date. Here's my submission! The other couple is Mettalphys._

* * *

" **Amusement" Park**

* * *

If there was one thing all four of them liked, it was adventure.

Sure, Alphys got her fair share of it from her anime but she enjoyed tagging along with her friends when there was somewhere to go. And, as it happened, a place called "Hershey Park" was supposed to be quite exciting.

As her feet finally touched solid ground after a very long car ride, it occurred to Alphys that it was a very odd thing to do to go on a double date with her ex-girlfriend, her ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend, and her own boyfriend. Especially when her boyfriend and ex-girlfriend had argued over directions the _entire_ time. How they'd managed to end up in the right place after all that bickering was anyone's guess.

"...still took _way_ longer than it was supposed to." Undyne was saying to Mettaton, her eyebrows furrowed. "You never listen to _anyone_."

"I could say the same of you." Mettaton said, grabbing Alphys's hand and nearly dragging her along at a pace far too fast for her. "Come, Alphy, let's get a head start. Burgerpants, a little faster please!" he snapped his fingers at the hapless cat monster behind him. "My eighty wonderful viewers need a genuine reaction!" Burgerpants scowled but ran ahead to film Mettaton and Alphys from the front. "Yes, darlings, I, Mettaton, am here at the wonderful Hershey Park with my dear friends and my gorgeous girlfriend!"

As Mettaton enthusiastically continued his spiel, Alphys distinctly heard Papyrus whisper to Undyne, " _Oh my gosh, did you hear that? We're his dear friends!_ "

"Yyyyyep." Undyne said slowly, apparently deciding not to ruin Mettaton for her fangirling boyfriend.

"And here we are in the first line of the day. The key to these things, my lovely viewers, is patience. Good things come to those who wait, you know!" Mettaton scooped up his short girlfriend so that she was in view of the camera. "Alphys, darling, how do you feel about trying out your first human amusement park? Excited? Terrified? Excitedly terrified? Our audience is dying for a genuine reaction!"

"Uhh, I…" Alphys felt heat rising to her face. "I-I mean, I f-feel… I guess… I, uhh…"

"Struck speechless with wonder, I see!" Mettaton embellished playfully. "Yes, I understand completely! Look at that view! So many sights to behold!" he waved for Burgerpants to film as much of the park as they could see through the crowd. "What about you, Papyrus?" he asked, reaching out an arm and managing to yank Papyrus to his side in seconds. Undyne scowled but Alphys was secretly glad Mettaton was distracted (and that he put her down). "How do you feel about this, our first human amusement park?"

"I AM VERY EXCITED!" Papyrus's eyes sparkled; he'd never been on TV before. "BUT NOT TERRIFIED! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NEVER TERRIFIED!"

"Never terrified indeed!" Mettaton agreed cheerfully. "Let's see if we can change that before the day is done!"

Papyrus puffed out his chest (a difficult feat considering he was literally nothing but bones). "I WILL SHOW MONSTERS THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR FROM THESE SILLY HUMAN PARKS WITH STRANGE METAL… CIRCLES."

"As I hear, they are called roller coasters, and they're quite popular for humans who desire to travel very high and very fast. We're about to find out if they're all they're cracked up to be!" Mettaton glanced behind him. "We haven't heard from you, Undyne! Don't think you can hide from stardom!"

"No comment." Undyne snipped.

"Oh pish posh, everyone has a comment!" Mettaton let go of Papyrus to yank Undyne forward. "As we wait for entrance to this strange new world, give us your thoughts. Your feelings!"

"I _feel_ like punching you in the face." Undyne gritted her teeth.

"Oh, you are quite the comedian!" Mettaton chortled. "But without my beautiful face, who would set all the monster beauty standards?"

Undyne smirked. "My sexy boyfriend, Papyrus."

Papyrus grinned and put his hands on both sides of his face. "REALLY? WOWIE!"

"She _is_ a comedian, ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof!" Mettaton playfully smacked her on the back. "Although I believe it would not be in their best interest to attempt to match Papyrus's weight. Much better to try to match mine. For the record, I weigh exactly 372 pounds! And every single one is simply _flawless_." he posed dramatically. "Ah, I see we have arrived."

The ticket taker's eyes widened as she accepted the five tickets from the monsters. Mettaton leaned in, grinning playfully. "Never seen a monster up close, darling? Don't worry, we don't bite. At least most of us don't." he glanced at Undyne, who rolled her eye. "Thank you very much," he looked at her nametag, "Jessi."

"Uhh… have a great time!" Jessi called as they passed her by.

"Oh, we shall!" Mettaton called as he walked away. "And be sure to tune in tonight for the whole program. I hope you don't mind your face being broadcast to millions!"

Jessi dropped the ticket she was holding. "What?"

Alphys looked back as she hurried to keep up with Mettaton and smiled at Papyrus, who had gleefully picked up the dropped ticket and handed it to Jessi before hurrying after the group.

"Why did you agree to come to this?" Undyne asked her as they fell in step with each other, Mettaton slinking ahead and Papyrus puffing behind them. "I thought you weren't big on the whole stardom thing."

"W-well, no." Alphys agreed. "But I am studying surface physics and I th-thought the rides here would help me get a feel for it. He agreed to c-come because, well… I guess you can f-figure that out."

"Hm." Undyne pursed her lips. "You two never do anything for _fun_ , do you?"

"Sure we do!" Alphys tripped and Undyne grasped her upper arm to keep her from falling on her face. "But there's n-nothing wrong with l-learning something while you're having fun, r-right?"

"THAT'S VERY TRUE!" Papyrus skipped along, apparently not caring about the odd looks they were getting from passersby. "SOMETIMES I PLAY EDUCATIONAL COMPUTER GAMES SO I CAN HAVE FUN AND LEARN SOMETHING NEW ALL AT THE SAME TIME!"

"Usually you just get frustrated when it takes you too long to solve the puzzles." Undyne smirked at Papyrus.

"THAT WAS ONE GAME AND IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THE PUZZLE WAS RANDOMIZED SO I COULDN'T FIND ANY HELP ONLINE." Papyrus scowled at the memory but soon brightened up. "WOWIE, THIS PLACE IS HUGE!"

"It is." Alphys looked around at the various rides and attractions. "It would be easy to get l-lost in a place like this."

"Now if only we could lose the camera crew." Undyne mumbled.

Alphys enjoyed strolling through the park, though it was rather difficult to keep up with her much taller friends. Mettaton seemed to be heading into a specific direction and soon arrived at a monstrous red roller coaster.

"Well, here we are, my lovelies!" Mettaton stopped and posed for the camera in front of the roller coaster. "Storm Runner. The most dangerous, death defying roller coaster here at Hershey Park!"

" _Awesome_." Undyne muttered, taking in the sight with a wide eye.

"This beauty goes from 0 to 72 miles per hour in a mere two seconds." Mettaton patted the sign almost affectionately. "And the four of us are going to be riding it."

"We're doing _what_?" Alphys squeaked. "Oh no, no, no, no, I don't think s-so!"

"Nonsense, my dear." Mettaton simpered. "You did want to study physics, didn't you?"

"Yes but w-with my feet on the ground." Alphys felt her face heating up as Burgerpants pointed the camera at her. "Not so far up in the air! B-besides, I don't think my t-tail will fit. No, I'm happy here where I won't go f-flying."

"Weren't you just saying the other day that you wanted to conquer more of your fears?" Mettaton asked, for all the world as if it didn't mean much to him but Alphys could see disappointment in his face. "I picked this out specifically for _you_. Well, you and Undyne here." he threw an arm around Undyne. "I knew you would never be able to resist."

"Hands. Off." Undyne growled through gritted teeth. Once Mettaton relinquished her, she smiled. "Not gonna lie though, this is the best idea you've ever had."

"Thank you, Undyne. Coming from you, that means so much." Mettaton said with a little bow in her direction. He then turned to the camera. "She really makes you work for it, doesn't she folks?"

"I will still hit you." Undyne deadpanned before turning to her boyfriend. "You've been weirdly quiet."

Papyrus stared up at the roller coaster, a trickle of sweat slowly sliding down his skull. "WHA- ME?" he smiled. "OH, I JUST… DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY."

"That's a load of bull and you know it." Undyne nudged him. "You all right?"

"TO BE HONEST, UNDYNE, I FEEL LIKE THIS ROLLER COASTER IS… HOW SHOULD I PUT IT… _TERRIFYING_."

Undyne laughed. "You defy gravity all the time!"

Papyrus rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "YES BUT NOT GENERALLY AT 72 MILES PER HOUR."

"You've driven that fast in the car."

"NOT WITHOUT THE WINDSHIELD."

"Okay, okay." Undyne chortled. "Just Mettaton, Alphys, and me then."

"Y-you and Mettaton only, I think." Alphys stepped behind Papyrus. "We're good."

"Ooh, an interesting twist." Mettaton slinked over to his three companions. "For the first time in history, I believe Undyne and I are finally on the same side."

"I hate to admit it but yeah." Undyne made a face. "It'd be nice if you came with us."

Alphys fidgeted a bit. "I don't know…"

"Alphys dear," Mettaton got on his knees so he could look his girlfriend in the eye, "you're braver than anyone I know."

"Standing right here, mate." Undyne snipped.

Mettaton glanced upward for a second. "My point stands. Even when frightened, you still make the decision to keep moving forward. That's heroic. And I may be the sexiest man alive-"

" _Second_ sexiest, but carry on." Undyne put her arm around Papyrus, who blushed.

"But… actually, Alphys, why did I tell you I liked you?"

"Uh… because you did?"

Mettaton let out a laugh. "Well, that goes without saying. More specifically, what did I _tell_ you?"

Alphys thought back to that moment months before. "Because I'm nice?"

"My goodness, your memory could use an upgrade!" Mettaton winked at the camera. "I said I liked you because I'd spent so much time encouraging you that I saw everything I'd ever said about you come true. And then some!" Mettaton took her hands. "I won't make you ride this roller coaster if you don't think you're ready. It's all right; I've seen you do plenty more amazing things."

Alphys felt the eyes of Mettaton's future audience on her. She deeply appreciated his words. And truthfully, she still wanted to remain on the ground. But with all the sweet things Mettaton had done for her, from shielding her from paparazzis to thanking her in his acceptance speech for every award he'd ever won to watching anime with her to whatever he had done to stop the tabloids from running stories about her, she felt she owed him this one. The audience deserved a good show, after all, and she _had_ agreed to this.

"All right." she said, trying to sound braver than she felt. "I'll do it!"

"Marvelous!" Mettaton stood up and, before she could stop him, picked her up so she was in view of the camera. "This will truly be a spectacle!"

"See Papyrus? Alphys is doing it." Undyne told her obviously nervous boyfriend. "If Alphys can, you definitely can."

"HMM…" Papyrus took a deep breath and straightened himself to his full height, still a few inches shy of Undyne's. "WELL IN THAT CASE, OF COURSE I'LL COME!"

"Perfect!" Undyne punched the air. "Kind of a long line so you're going to have _plenty_ of time to mentally prepare yourself!"

"Oh joy." Alphys muttered as she followed them all to the back of the line.

* * *

"That… was… AWESOME!" Undyne's eye was wide with excitement as she stepped off the ride. "I totally want to go again!"

"I certainly hope you got some good footage." Mettaton was telling Burgerpants, who was looking quite green. "Otherwise we'd all have to go again."

"Ha, I definitely wouldn't mind if we-" Undyne stopped talking when she saw Alphys and Papyrus, who were sitting in the back of the car.

Papyrus staggered a bit, which was unsurprising since Alphys was still clinging to his arm.

"IT'S OKAY, ALPHYS." he was saying reassuringly. "IT'S OVER. YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES!"

"I th-think I'm gonna be sick." Alphys mumbled.

Papyrus started sweating. "PLEASE DON'T HURL ON ME."

"Geez, Alphys, I've never seen you this freaked out." Undyne said cheerfully, walking over and helping Papyrus pry her off his arm. "But hey, you did it!"

"Y-yeah… I did!" Alphys breathed, tentatively opening her eyes. "It was actually… k-kinda fun? In a completely terrifying, thinking y-you're about to die way!"

"That's the spirit!" Mettaton cheered. "It's not fun unless you fear for your life! Well, Undyne, I think we'll have to stop by and do this again when we finish filming."

"Absolutely." Undyne nodded. "This was actually a good idea."

"Coming from you, that's quite the compliment." Mettaton winked at her and Undyne mimed vomiting into the nearby trash can.

"Y-y-you know what?" Alphys said as she hurried after them. "Count me in! I'll g-go again!"

"What a twist!" Mettaton picked her up and spun her around. "I knew you had it in you, darling. Isn't she wonderful, folks? Simply stunning!"

Alphys blushed scarlet. Undyne turned to Papyrus, fully expecting him to make a goofy comment but was surprised to see him sweating.

"What's up?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.

"OH JUST… THINKING ABOUT HOW FUN IT'LL BE TO DO THIS. AGAIN." Papyrus let out a nervous giggle.

"You don't have to."

"IF ALPHYS CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT." Papyrus wiped his forehead. "MAYBE I'LL EVEN OPEN MY EYES THIS TIME."

"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Undyne swung their clasped hands back and forth, making Papyrus grin. "You know, you and Alphys were all cute, hanging onto each other for dear life."

"I WOULDN'T KNOW." Papyrus shrugged. "THAT WAS A BIT OF A BLUR. I DID SEE MY ENTIRE LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES."

"Well it's true. Tell you what, if we ever break up, you have my blessing to go out with her."

"WELL… LET'S HOPE IT NEVER COMES TO THAT." Papyrus said, a tiny reddish hue on his cheekbones.

Undyne let go of his hand and put her arm around his shoulders. "Yeah. I don't think it will."

"ME NEITHER."

With Burgerpants filming them and Mettaton still bragging about Alphys's courage, Undyne and Papyrus found themselves forgotten by their friends. Perhaps, during all this distraction, they would nip over to the Ferris Wheel by themselves. In the meantime, Undyne mentally promised herself she would get Papyrus an ice cream for his own bravery. As far as she was concerned, he was a bigger star than Mettaton ever would be.

Then again, maybe it was good that the world didn't see that. It meant she got him all to herself.


	10. The Best Friend

_Secret Undyrus gift for someone on tumblr. Of course I was going to share here!_

* * *

 **The Best Friend**

* * *

"That was _awesome_!" Undyne exclaimed, wiping debris out of her face as she stared into a sizeable crater. "Remind me never to tick you off."

"UMM…" Papyrus's cheeks tinged red as he too focused on the newly created crater. "NOTED."

"So I guess that's about it for today." Undyne dusted off her hands. "Let's not keep damaging property. Namely mine."

"I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN UNDYNE!" Papyrus cried very suddenly, making her jump. "I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT STRONG! NEXT TIME, I'LL USE SMALLER BONES AND MAYBE-"

"Next time, use whatever you got." Undyne thumped Papyrus on the back; he stumbled forward a few feet. "I can take it. And I _like_ doing home repairs. You think this is the first crater on my property? You're naive, Pap. Can I call you Pap?"

"UHH… OKAY!" Papyrus shrugged, taking his eyes off the damage. "WELL, THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT FOURTH TRAINING SESSION, CAPTAIN UNDYNE!"

"What did I tell you?" Undyne sighed. "You don't have to call me captain, I'm just Undyne."

"WELL, I STILL WANT TO BE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR POSITION..."

"You're being more respectful when you don't treat me like I hold your life in my hands." Undyne shook Papyrus's shoulders. "Loosen up, dude! That's an order"

"YES, CAP- UHH, I MEAN UNDYNE!" Papyrus saluted.

"And another thing!" Undyne yanked his arm down. "Don't salute me."

"YES, UNDYNE!" Papyrus nodded, placing his arm to his side. "SO… IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED TO GO OVER?"

"Just one more thing." Undyne opened a nearby box (filled with _more_ weapons, Papyrus noticed) and pulled out two pairs of boxing gloves. She tossed a pair to Papyrus. "Hand-to-hand combat."

"UHHH…" Papyrus caught the gloves and stared at them with wide eye sockets. "LIKE… PHYSICAL COMBAT?"

"That's the idea!" Undyne slipped on the gloves and put her fists up, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation. "Let's see what you've got!"

"ARE YOU… TELLING ME TO HIT YOU?" Papyrus asked, a bead of sweat falling down his face.

"I'm telling you to try!" Undyne threw a punch, intentionally coming short of striking him. "Come on, hit me with your best shot!"

Papyrus straightened himself up to his full height. "A TRUE GENTLEMAN WOULD NEVER HIT A WOMAN. IT'S ABHORRENT!"

"Yeah well a true lady doesn't enter belching contests." Undyne hopped around him in a way that vaguely reminded him of the annoying dog he'd been chasing off for weeks. "I guess we're just unconventional that way."

"WELL STILL, I FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE CAUSING YOU HARM." Papyrus said, though he slipped on the gloves. "CAN'T I JUST SWING AND YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY?"

"That's kinda the point. I'm supposed to avoid getting hit and you're supposed to try." Undyne jabbed him in the ribs with her glove. "Come on, bonehead!"

"I… ALL RIGHT." Papyrus threw a weak punch that Undyne easily dodged.

"Is that all you got?" Undyne raised an eyebrow. "I know you can do better."

"I DON'T LIKE THIS." Papyrus said in a voice that suspiciously sounded like a whine. "CAN'T I JUST… AVOID COMBAT IN THE FUTURE?"

"What if a _human_ lady falls down here, Papyrus? How would you capture her if you can't even hit her once?"

Papyrus grinned. "OH, I HAVE THAT ALL WORKED OUT!" he said, his hand on his chest and his cape now blowing in the wind of its own accord. "IF I TRAP HER WITH MY PUZZLES, I WON'T HAVE TO FIGHT HER AT ALL!"

"Let's just pretend she gets past it all." Undyne gestured in the general direction of Snowdin. "What then?"

"I'LL USE MY BONE ATTACKS!"

"And if the dog steals them again?"

"I'LL… UHH…" Papyrus fidgeted. "I'LL… COME UP WITH ANOTHER WAY TO CAPTURE HER."

"By fighting the way I teach you." Undyne smacked his shoulder. "Come on! One good punch and you can be done!"

"ONE GOOD PUNCH?"

"One good punch!"

Papyrus stared down at his gloved hands, took a deep breath, and closed his eye sockets. Undyne waited for the blow.

Were she training a new recruit, the punch Papyrus landed on her would have made her toss him out in a heartbeat. But Papyrus wasn't a new recruit. And he certainly wasn't like anyone she'd ever trained before.

"THERE! WAS THAT ENOUGH? I HIT YOU AS HARD AS I COULD!" Papyrus was panting as if this took quite a bit of effort.

"Yeah, you certainly did." Undyne stared down at her left arm. His blow had to be the weakest one she'd ever received. "Welp, that's enough for today." she tossed off her gloves and put them back in the box. "What do you say we try something else?"

"SOMETHING… ELSE?" Papyrus placed his gloves into the box and closed it. "LIKE WHAT?"

"Um…" Undyne glanced around. Her eye landed on her oven, which she could see through the window of her house. An idea popped into her head. "A good Royal Guardsman… has to be able to feed himself."

"OH, I CAN DO THAT!" Papyrus grinned, looking relieved. "I'VE BEEN SUCCESSFULLY FEEDING MYSELF SINCE I WAS THREE. MOSTLY WITH SPOONS OR FORKS BUT I USED A SPORK ONCE AND IT WAS A VERY UNUSUAL EXPERIENCE."

"No, you have to be able to cook!" Undyne opened her door and gestured for him to go in ahead of her. Papyrus reluctantly walked through. "Cooking takes… working with heat. And skill. And precision. All things a good Royal Guardsman needs to know."

"OF COURSE!" Papyrus agreed. "YOU CANNOT FIGHT IF YOU CANNOT MAKE FOOD FOR YOURSELF!"

"That's the idea!" Undyne rubbed her hands together. "I have some popsicles in the freezer out back. Alphys hasn't converted it yet. But popsicles _suck_ if they're not fried!"

"I'VE NEVER HAD A FRIED POPSICLE…"

"You're in for a treat, Papyrus!" Undyne beamed at him. "Just let me go out back and get them. And don't go putting more craters in the house." she paused for a moment and then snorted. "Ahh, who am I kidding? If you gotta destroy, you gotta destroy."

"I'LL CURB MY IMPULSES." Papyrus smiled at his humorous comment as Undyne shut the back door.

Once she was alone, she took a deep breath. _Really, Undyne? Cooking? You can't cook!_ She chastised herself. _You should just let him go. You've got other things to do._

Except she couldn't.

She didn't know what it was about the goofy skeleton who had camped out in front of her house in the hopes that he could join the Royal Guard. Maybe it was his cute smile. Or his endearingly innocent way of speaking. Or… she looked down at her left arm… maybe it was how he'd hit her just now. He just couldn't muster any intent to hurt her. She could _never_ send him to battle.

But she couldn't send him away either. The poor guy had such big hopes and dreams. How could she dash them to pieces? What could she do for him to keep that smile on his face?

The answer came to her almost instantly. It was so natural, so obvious, she was surprised it hadn't occurred to her earlier. She grabbed the popsicles from the freezer and returned to her kitchen.

"AHH! LIME! MY FAVORITE!" Papyrus exclaimed, delighted that she was back. "HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

"Telepathy." Undyne snarked, trying to wink at him.

"DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE?"

"No." Undyne cursed herself for her singular eye.

Papyrus paused for a moment. "YOU JUST GUESSED, DIDN'T YOU?"

"About the popsicle? Yeah." Undyne got out a frying pan.

"WOWIE, YOU SHOULD TRY OUT FOR A TRIVIA SHOW IF YOUR GUESSES ARE SO SPOT ON!" Papyrus unwrapped the popsicle as Undyne poured motor oil into the pan.

"Ehh, I just got lucky." Undyne waved her hand dismissively. "I'll ask next time."

"ANY POPSICLE WOULD TASTE BETTER WITH F-" Papyrus suddenly halted the sentence and cleared his throat. "AH, FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCES."

"Of course." Undyne placed her own popsicle into the now-boiling oil. Flames licked the sides of the pan. "And Papyrus?"

"YES?"

"You're my friend too."

Papyrus blushed. "YOU MEAN IT?"

"Absolutely." Undyne smiled warmly at him. "Now enough with the mushy stuff and give me the popsicle."

Papyrus looked like he was going to cry as he handed over his popsicle. Undyne felt a tiny burst of discomfort; she'd never liked it when people were emotional in front of her. But, at the same time, she felt like this guy was special. She wasn't about to let go of him so easily. And even though she certainly wasn't going to let him join the Royal Guard, he had definitely earned a place in her circle of friends.

* * *

"It's _cold_!"

Undyne shivered and zipped her jacket up as far as it would go. She hated this ridiculous surface weather sometimes. It was like being perpetually trapped in Snowdin from December to March. How could the humans stand it?

"LET ME GET THE DOOR." Papyrus offered, easily stepping around her to open their front door to let her in.

"Th-thanks." Undyne said, her teeth chattering. She frowned. "It's cold in here too."

"HMM…" Papyrus sauntered over to the thermostat. "SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THE HEATING SYSTEM. HOLD ON, I'LL GO CHECK WITH THE LANDLORD."

Undyne got out her phone and sighed deeply. "Don't bother. I just got an email. Heating's down for the whole complex. Someone's working on it now but until then, we're just going to have to deal." she tossed her phone on the couch. "Hooray."

"WE HAVE A SPACE HEATER AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE…" Papyrus said, walking over to the closet and rummaging through it. "AHA! THERE IT IS! THIS ROOM WILL BE NICE AND WARM IN NO TIME!"

"Thanks." Undyne grabbed a nearby blanket and snuggled into it. "In the meantime, what say we watch a movie or something while I thaw."

"WHAT MOVIE?"

"I don't care. You pick." Undyne pulled the blanket over her shoulders and curled up, presumably to warm herself even more.

"I PICK WHATEVER YOU WANT TO WATCH." Papyrus opened the cabinet and gestured to their still small film collection.

"Fine. We'll watch Friday the 13th." Undyne grinned widely at Papyrus.

"AHH… OF COURSE." Papyrus took the movie off the shelf, a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Or…" Undyne held up a finger. "We could just binge watch Phineas and Ferb."

Papyrus instantly returned the DVD. He and Undyne had recently discovered the cartoon and they had both gotten rather addicted. After he put the Phineas and Ferb DVD into the player and turned on the TV, he sat down and curled up next to Undyne. Undyne fully extracted her arm from under the blanket and placed it around him.

"This was a blessing in disguise, looks like." she said, pulling him in so that his head was resting on her shoulder. "Nothing better than quality time with my boyfriend."

Papyrus, who had just started to relax, suddenly perked up. "B-BOYFRIEND?"

Undyne leaned back so she could look him in the eye sockets. "We've been dating for two weeks and you're surprised?" She raised an eyebrow. "Too early?"

"NO, OF COURSE NOT!" Papyrus blushed. "I JUST… I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO… I'M REALLY YOUR BOYFRIEND?"

"You see any other guys around here?"

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets and looked around. "IT APPEARS I AM THE ONLY ' _BOY'_ IN THE DIRECT VICINITY."

"I guess, by process of elimination, I had to have been referring to you." Undyne nudged him. "Come on, are you really surprised? We've been having a blast."

"I JUST WASN'T SURE YOU WOULD WANT TO RUSH INTO IT."

"I'm not." Undyne placed her head on top of his. "You know, at the time, I never would have thought the dork who waited outside my house all night, couldn't hit me, and nearly set my house on fire multiple times would end up making me so crazy."

"AND NOW?"

Undyne breathed a laugh. "Now I can't believe I didn't see it sooner."

"WELL IN THAT CASE…" Papyrus snuggled into her some more. "I'M GOING TO TRY TO BE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD."

"Ehh, that'll be easy for you." Undyne kissed the top of his head. "Now let's huddle together and try to stay warm while the apartment slowly freezes."

It was a little while before Papyrus realized how ironic it was to be watching a show about summer on one of the coldest days of the year while freezing in an unheated apartment. But he didn't care. He cared about making Undyne happy. She was the best friend he'd ever had.

And now… he felt oddly warm inside at the thought… she was the best _girlfriend_ he could ever ask for.


	11. Pianos and Pickup Trucks

_I got this idea a few days ago. Then I told an Alphyne shipper about it and she loved it, saying she wanted to write it. But this story belongs entirely to Undyrus so I'm going to beat her to it! Just kidding though, thanks for listening, theawkwardandthegraceful._

 _I used a bit of language in this one because I thought it would add to the comedy of this piece. Hope that's okay._

* * *

 **Pianos and Pickup Trucks**

* * *

Probably the worst thing about dating Alphys, other than the events that led to a rather messy breakup, was the romantic comedies. Anime was fantastic when they were watching it together (and they still met up frequently to do so) but Alphys had gotten the idea fairly early on that chick flicks and romantic comedies were a great way to bond. Undyne rather thought that Die Hard would be a better bonding movie but her devotion to Alphys had caused her to sit in front of an awful lot of these movies. These corny, goofy, cutesy romantic movies.

 _Ugh_.

But months had passed. Alphys and Undyne were still girlfriends in the platonic sense but their days of romance were long over. It was definitely for the best. Honestly, they'd never been closer. Breaking up had been the best thing to happen to them.

And not _only_ because Undyne had found love again. But that certainly helped.

Undyne strained her muscles as she lifted her piano onto the back of the pickup truck she'd borrowed from Asgore. This was going to be _epic_.

"Just do something big and romantic." Alphys had said earlier that day over coffee. "He'll love it!"

"How am I supposed to come up with something like that?" Undyne had asked, making a face as she sipped her coffee.

"Just think back to one of the rom coms we've watched and try something from that." Alphys shrugged.

Undyne doubted she'd meant _this_. But she was _Undyne_. If she was going to do something romantic, she was going to do it _her_ way.

Finally, the piano was loaded securely. Undyne wiped sweat off her brow and climbed into the driver's seat.

It was a very short drive to Papyrus's house, in part because of the hour. Undyne pulled into his driveway and began the laborious task of _un_ loading the piano from it. Ordinarily, she might have asked for help. But she was going to do this big romantic… _thing_ on her own or die trying.

As soon as the piano was in place, she grabbed a handful of pebbles and threw them at his window one by one. He had to notice. How could he _not_?

Unless…

Had that idiot actually gone to _sleep_ tonight? Of all the luck… Undyne gritted her teeth. This called for drastic measures. Once Papyrus was out, he was _out_. Pebbles against the window would have absolutely no effect.

Undyne looked around until she noticed a large rock in the grass of the front lawn. She smiled toothily and picked it up.

* * *

 _CRASH_!

Papyrus jolted out of bed, his nightcap flying off his head and his eyes bulging. Someone had just thrown a _rock_ at his window!

"SANS!" he cried, grabbing his slippers and bolting out of bed. "SANS, I THINK WE'RE BEING ROBBED!"

"one step ahead of you." Sans called down the hallway, hurrying down with his trombone in his hands.

Papyrus gave him a withering look. "LET ME GUESS: YOU WANT TO KICK HIS BRASS. CLASSY, SANS."

"uhh nope, i was just planning on clubbing him with it but nice one, bro."

Papyrus growled through his teeth, nearly falling down the stairs in his haste. No one seemed to be in the house. Everything was exactly as they'd left it. Even Sans's clutter hadn't been touched.

"what the…" Sans began when a loud noise made them both jump.

It _sounded_ like someone banging on the piano as loud as possible. The skeletal brothers looked at each other for a moment before hurrying to the front door, Papyrus hopping on one foot to put on his other slipper.

A truly bizarre sight greeted them when they emerged from the house. Undyne was sitting there, playing Maple Leaf Rag at twice its normal volume _and_ pace. Once she'd caught sight of Papyrus, she yelled "LOOK, PAPYRUS, I'M BEING ROMANTIC AND SHIT!"

Papyrus goggled at her, his mouth agape. For a moment, he was convinced that he was dreaming. How in the world would Undyne have gotten her entire piano across town? And _why_ in the world would she do it? That was the more pertinent question. The first question was quickly answered when he caught sight of the pickup truck. The second was probably going to have a more complicated answer.

"UNDYNE, WHY ARE YOU PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE AT 2 AM?" Papyrus shouted over the music.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" Undyne bellowed back, a huge toothy grin on her face. "I'M PLAYING MUSIC OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW LIKE IN THE MOVIES!"

Sans, whose left eye had lit up as they'd been searching the house, suddenly burst out laughing. Papyrus spared a moment to give him a withering look before turning back to Undyne.

"THEY USUALLY USE GUITARS AND STEREOS IN THE MOVIES!"

"BUT YOU'RE WORTH A WHOLE DAMN PIANO!" Undyne hollered, playing the song again with even more gusto.

By this time, neighbors were starting to emerge from their own houses, staring wide eyed at an extremely excitable fish monster banging on her piano and shouting her love for a skeleton monster clad in ducky pajamas, all while a second skeleton seemed to be overcome with the giggles. It was a very odd sight indeed.

"UNDYNE I…" Papyrus's eyes brimmed with tears. "THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE'S EVER DONE FOR ME!"

"Get used to it, you dork!" Undyne got up from her piano and tackled him in a hug.

They landed on the grass, her on her hands and knees leaning over his prone form. The lights from the streetlamps made her look very weird and more than a bit creepy but Papyrus was far too happy to care. Undyne kissed him just above the nose.

"Was that a big enough romantic gesture?" she asked in a low voice so the wheezing Sans wouldn't hear.

"I LOVE YOU, UNDYNE." Papyrus sighed. "BUT I THINK THE NEIGHBORS MIGHT WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP."

"Sleep is for the weak." Undyne chirped merrily, hopping off him and holding out a hand to help him up.

"THEN THEY MIGHT CALL THE POLICE WITH A NOISE COMPLAINT."

"Let them. I'm on the force."

" _UNDYNE_!"

"Kidding!" Undyne chortled. "I guess I'll pack it back up. Oh man, that was _so_ worth it to see your face."

"DO YOU HAVE TO GO NOW?" Papyrus asked. He could feel heat rising to his cheekbones.

"No. But aren't I supposed to?"

"I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO THEY USUALLY DO IN THE MOVIES?"

Undyne shrugged. "I didn't think that far ahead."

Papyrus considered this for a moment. "DO YOU WANT TO COME IN FOR SOME HOT CHOCOLATE? OR COFFEE?"

"Sure!" Undyne took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "And then maybe you can go back to bed."

"I THINK I'M A LITTLE TOO AWAKE RIGHT NOW?"

"Aww, I thought you liked cuddling."

There was no question about it this time. Papyrus was _definitely_ blushing.

"OKAY. SURE." he said, allowing her to lead him back to the house, leaving Sans in the front yard without a second thought.

* * *

"That was the _best_ advice you've ever given me!" Undyne told Alphys over coffee the next morning, looking a bit groggy but definitely more cheerful.

Alphys's face was in her hands. "That's n-not what I meant though."

Undyne raised an eyebrow. "It's me. What did you _expect_?"

Alphys half smiled despite herself. "Pretty much that."

"Well Papyrus liked it." Undyne leaned back, looking triumphant as she took another sip of coffee. "And I even got him to sleep a bit more."

"You… you stayed the night?" Alphys's head shot up and she leaned forward. "Details…"

Undyne narrowed her eye at her. "Oh calm down, it wasn't like _that_."

"Mhmmmm." Alphys waggled her eyebrows at her. "Then what, pray tell, was it like?"

"Get back in the trash."

"Already there."

"Well…" Undyne's cheeks turned puce. "I mean he is the perfect little spoon, really."

Alphys nearly knocked her coffee over as she leaned forward even more. "Yeah?"

"I mean that's about it." Undyne took another sip. "If you were expecting hentai…"

It was Alphys's turn to go scarlet. "That's… that's n-not… shut up."

"Then stop trying to live vicariously through me and Papyrus."

Alphys grumbled and returned to her seat, not failing to notice several eyes on her. Next time they had a discussion this juicy, she'd have to make sure they were home.

"But all that t-to say it's going well… right?"

Undyne felt her heart flop at the memory of the last night. "Yeah." she said. "It's going well."

Alphys grinned. "So d-do you think he's going to do a big romantic gesture in return?"

"It's Papyrus."

"Good point."

"Soooooo," Undyne's smile turned mischievous in an instant, "I'm going to have to outdo this. Any suggestions?"

"Oh no." Alphys put up her hands in defense. "I w-want no part of this."

"Come on, Al, you've got the best ideas!" Undyne pressed.

"You're g-going to twist all of m-my suggestions."

"I know, that's what makes it fun."

" _Undyne_!"

Undyne laughed, feeling happier than she had in a long time. As she continued to tease Alphys about her dating advice, she felt very thankful for her adorable boyfriend and her far too eager best friend.

She made a decision. Papyrus was definitely worth the whole piano, that's for sure.

 _But so was Alphys_.

* * *

 _Undyne… no._

 _Hope you enjoyed that! I love writing platonic Alphyne. It's one of my favorite underrated topics. I think they're adorable as friends._

 _And I'm in the Undyrus trash. Have been all year. Whoops!_

 _Don't forget to review!_

 _~KateMarie999_


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